Possessing a charming way will open many doors. The latent charm lurking within you is your secret and hidden away gold mine. Your charm is like a pearl inside the oyster, and once it is discovered and polished can highlight and greatly enrich your personality and success.
Charm is that
intangible quality within you, that when uncovered and freed from suffocating
baggage, can add a subtle power to your presence that is irresistibly pleasing.
The influence of this charm will attract, calm, assuage, placate and delight
anyone with whom you come into contact. The ability to win over and influence
people is in direct proportion to the charm you are able to summon up and
demonstrate.
Charm can be
developed like every other quality or attribute of the mind by adopting and
practicing some basic rules. Adaptation, the art of agreeing with another
person for the sake of amicability is lesson one. Finding common ground through
genuine curiosity lowers defences and paves the way for further exploration.
Adaptation is an acknowledgment of another’s ‘right to be’ right or wrong. As
Voltaire said, "I do not agree with a word you say but I shall defend to
the death your right to say it." The goal is to charm not to reform.
The primary rule is
for you to be yourself. Any kind of physical makeover, including that phoney
smile, won’t do the trick. Affectations and pretence, even a well-rehearsed
choreography, is swift and certain death to charm. It is easy enough to attract
and get attention by artifice, but to influence anyone beyond surface
pleasantries, you must possess the power of charm within. A smile may win a
first look, but it takes the conscious power of charm to obtain results.
Authenticity is genuine and indisputable, easily picked up by others as the
real thing, where pretence is usually unmasked.
By practicing the
techniques of charm from within, you can put your prospect or antagonist at
ease and even inspire them to do your bidding. Projecting charm requires give
and take. The first technique is to listen. You must be an attentive listener
interested in hearing what the other person has to say, which also means paying
close attention and really comprehending what they have to say and where they
are coming from in saying it.
The second
fundamental is to always be humble, gentle and polite. By adopting these traits,
you will project a gracious and friendly manner which communicates the attitude
that you are both likeable and approachable. Treat all people that you meet as
potential friends. By displaying an open and positive attitude, and making
others feel that your own life was incomplete before having met them, empowers
them, and in turn they will become endeared to you. Interest, kindness, and
humbleness are a major part of being charming. Giving praise is another.
Praise is like a
rare gemstone which derives its worth from its scarcity. Praise is one of the greatest
motivating forces there is, and when sincerely applied can work wonders. Praise a dog and he is your friend. Praise
children and they will glow with joy. Praise your ability with gratitude and
you increase the flow of intelligence into your endeavours. Positive praise
feelingly applied is an active multiplier. Praise what you have and more will
be available to you. Praise is a positive expression of appreciation. In the
case of others, it gives hearty and warm approval and breaks down barriers. If anyone
you meet deserves your approbation, by all means give it, and in so doing you
enhance their appreciation of your own qualities, a win-win situation powered
by charm.
The third element
of charm is tolerance. Life is a compromise, and to realize and accept this
adds to one’s peace of mind and enjoyment. People are entitled to their own
opinion, and possessing tolerance allows respect for diverse opinions, without
necessarily believing or sharing them. Respect for another’s point of view will
always enlarge your own world view. By exercising tolerance, you dispel
prejudice and vanity. It is the essential quality necessary to establish the
true relationship between divergent situations on an impersonal basis. By
becoming tolerant you learn not to take the world and the events and people in
it too seriously, yourself included, thus enabling your sense of humour to
expand. A true and easy smile and the ability to have a good laugh will relax
you, and in so doing, aid you in peace of mind and efficiency. Tolerance and a
good sense of humour are indeed additional gems to have in your crown of charm.
Charm is the art of
pleasing. You need to be poised along with possessing the ability to act
natural. Your ability to be pleasingly
spontaneous and to act natural is a reflection of your habits. If these habits
have been formed through the proper training of grace, poise and cleanliness,
then they add to your charm. Negative habits of sloth, crudeness and
loutishness diminishes. Charm refines the essence of your personality and
permits the radiant beauty of your real being to shine through. Possessing
charm will greatly augment your effectiveness. It makes it possible for you to
always present yourself in the most favourable light. Through the glow of charm,
you will feel healthier and those worry lines will soon be replaced by your
infectious smile. So, train and equip yourself in the art and power of charm.
It will enrich your presence and add immeasurably to your personal satisfaction
and happiness.
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