A new-born infant, who showed unusual promise in the hospital nursery in the modulation of her of coos and cries and was immediately swept from her mother’s arms to Harvard University, has now been disgraced as a mere plagiarist.
It seems that the infant, commissioned to write an original
succession of coos and cries by a wily book packager, had listened,
intentionally or not, to the coos and cries of her fellow new-borns during her
brief stay at the hospital.
Hapless child that she was, she could hardly do more than
imitate their enchanting litany.
Now all has been uncovered and the infant is widely disgrace
and currently inflicting unnecessary mortification on herself.
Along with the author’s disgrace with fortune and adult’s
eyes, the once storied publishing company of Little Baby & Company, which
optioned, not only one but two books of coos and cries from the infant, now has
pabulum on its face.
To recuperate as much as possible from the catastrophic
descent of its reputation, it has cancelled its contract with the babe, not
only for a revised version of its present rendition of infant sounds, but for
the second collection, for which, in its eagerness to make money even at the
cost of its intellectual dignity, paid the new-born the sum of $700,000 for the
expected twin bestsellers.
As usual, the rains of time will wash away the pabulum and
the child, we hope, having one day realized the immensity of her transgression,
will have the wisdom to attribute it to her preconscious state of relative
unconsciousness and will go on to achieve whatever she may in the yet unknown
possibilities of her post coos-and-cries intellectual development.
Comments